Mommy Heart

Tonight as we were driving back from Target the little stinker in the back seat piped up with this surprising gem "Mom, I sorry." I was a little shocked so I just listened. She continued "I sorry I was mean, I was mad at my princess kids." Still not quite sure what she is referring to I let her continue "I sad they left." After this I could figure out she was feeling sad because she had been "mean" after my piano students left this evening. I have been teaching them for quite a while and they live about 20 minutes away so they both come at the same time and switch off playing and having lessons. Alli loves both of them, especially Sally. So she had wanted Sally to play with her longer, but Sally had a soccer game and their parents were there to pick them up. So apparently a few hours later, Alli's poor little conscience was pricked that perhaps she had been mean to her madre. This completely melted my heart because a) she was so completely sincere in her apology b) she hadn't really even thrown a fit or anything and c) she continued to apologize and explain for another 2-3 minutes. She said she was just "really mad Max and Sally" left. Seriously I don't know where she learned her expressive words from, but it made me feel like even though she has her awnry moments, that perhaps she is learning to stay a nice girl and express her feelings. She genuinely wants to be a nice girl and 90% of the time she is, but especially lately she has these moments where her "alter ego" comes out and she is grumpy towards people-friends, strangers, family etc. She doesn't want to be friendly and will talk rudely to them. I have figured it was probably her way of expressing concern with change coming, but I haven't been sure. So sometimes she has me completely exhausted and frustrated, but I love being a mom more than anything. It changes you and helps you live life more fully and enjoy each moment. I love this little girl more than I thought possible, and I love watching her grow up yet I want her to stay the same always. She tells me thank you for the simplest things so it is so very difficult not to just give her whatever she wants (so most times I do seeing as her wants are pretty simple). It makes me think of our Heavenly Father and reminds me of the scripture about the importance of gratitude. I am sure He feels the same way, except more so, about us. I know He loves us, I have known that my whole life, but never more than now as I am a mom and have a glimpse of what He is like as a parent. He is completely patient with us, never losing that perfect patience, so when we apologize to Him for our wrong doings I am sure it melts His heart and He only wants to forgive us and have us be truly happy. When we sincerely thank Him for things-especially taking time to thank Him for the simple things He notices. At times I feel like I don't pay 100% attention to what Alli is telling me. I hear, but I don't LISTEN with my ears and my heart, but He always give us His full, undivided attention. In the car tonight I am so glad I truly listened to what she was saying, and I want to always give her my full attention so that she will know that what she has to say is important and that I will always be there for her. I feel like growing up my mom was always there to listen to whatever I had to say, she still is, and I am so thankful for that.